I turned 40 at the end of 2017, and on my 35th birthday in 2012, I heard that an actor was interested in directing my breakthrough script.
As stated in the "About" section, I knew he wanted to star in the project, but his directing interest came as a surprise to me. Looking back, I should've done more to reclaim the script over the past several years. Between New York and Long Island, I live in one of the wealthiest, most densely-populated areas in the world, though I've never taken advantage of it. And that's what brings me to the tiny animals above.
I came across them in an art supply store, and given the soft rubber and hand-painted detail, they look far more impressive in your hands than they do in this picture. (And they look adorable in the picture.) Over the past few years, I've given a lot of these away, and it's hard to explain just how much happiness they bring people. They're simple toys, of course, but whether you're talking about the small child who's seen everything or the billionaire who has everything, there's nothing you can buy for a dollar that makes people smile like these little guys.
This is ridiculous on its face, but if I hit up New York and Long Island with the goal of selling a million of them, three things could happen:
One, I could reacquire my script from Lantern Capital. Two, I could finance a newer project. Three, if all else fails, I could rest in the knowledge that I did everything I could to avoid letting my script die in Harvey Weinstein's hands. Faced with those options, I did the sensible thing, and bought a ton of the animals wholesale. Now I can sell them for a buck, and really, I can get out of the house more often.
Bill Clinton's birth father was a door-to-door salesman. He died three months before his son was born. I've always been fascinated by that, as he clearly passed down a stunning intellect (which was probably fundamental to his own work). When I thought about trying to literally sell something -- since I could also meet potential investors for future projects -- my first idea was to sell high-end tobacco cards. Granted, the market for sports memorabilia is limited, even if the margins are high. With the tiny animals, however, the margins are low, but the market is seemingly endless. At my age, I may or may not go door-to-door and sell toys, but I'll find all sorts of competent people who will. As I said, it's ridiculous on its face and simply absurd, but I think I can sell a million little animals faster than my Shoeless Joe rookie card.
I ordered thousands of the tiny animals above. In selling them individually, they're moving like hotcakes. If you'd like to buy some, send me an e-mail, and you can PayPal me $10, $20, and so on. I plan to buy additional animals as soon as possible, but let's see how things go. Frankly, I have no illusions about selling a million toys, but I can sell 100,000, finance an art project, then save some cash for what's next. Judging by the overwhelming response I've received in selling these on a grassroots level -- via simple flyers -- I couldn't be more pleased.
Here are the animals you can choose from. I'd add a shopping cart, but much like my script notes service, I don't want to be presumptuous.
1) Moose
2) Kangaroo
3) T-Rex
4) Holstein cow
5) Giraffe
6) Alligator
7) Zebra
8) Elephant
9) Polar bear
10) Penguin
11) Killer whale
12) Lion
13) Tiger
14) Golden retriever
15) Great white shark
16) Rhino
17) Gorilla
18) Panda
19) Koala bear
20) Octopus
21) Bison
22) Manatee
23) Pony
24) Blue whale
25) Donkey
26) Sea lion
27) Brontosaurus
28) Stegosaurus
29) Brachiosaurus
30) Frog
31) Beluga whale
32) Clown fish
33) Dolphin
34) Dachshund
35) Sea turtle hatchling
36) Black bear
37) Okapi
38) Pufferfish
39) Meerkat
40) Seahorse
41) Woolly mammoth
